Want
by hudmelsonberry
Summary: Kurt and Blaine have been together for a while, but are they ready to take that next step? It seems as though Blaine sure is, but Kurt... not so sure. He's going to have to do a lot of thinking to figure out what he wants. Spoilers for 3x05. R&R!


**So my friend and I were talking about what we would like to see happen in Episode 5 (and we all know which one **_**that **_**is, right? *wink**wink*) and this is what we came up with. I think it's extremely canon, given the fact that everything that goes down in "The First Time" seems very OOC and just plain crazy.**

**So yeah…. Like I said, spoilers for "The First Time". Don't like? Don't read.**

Blaine's lips trailed from Kurt's down his jaw and neck, and even in Kurt's semi-drunken haze, he could tell that this was farther than they'd ever gone. "Blaine," he breathed, trying to get his boyfriend's attention. But Blaine seemed far too interested in the exposed skin at the base of Kurt's neck to have even heard Kurt. "Blaine," he tried again, but lost all train of thought when Blaine's lips found a particularly sensitive spot.

And, _damn_, did it feel good.

Kurt allowed Blaine to push him backwards on the seat and straddle him, even though there was barely and room in the backseat of Blaine's small car for all 5'11" of Kurt, plus Blaine (no matter how small he was). He felt slightly uncomfortable, but decided that it was because he'd been drinking. Because it was _Blaine_ – the one person Kurt shouldn't have ever felt uncomfortable around, so it _must _have been the alcohol.

Things got even more heated when Blaine started to unbutton Kurt's shirt, which the taller boy allowed because… well, they'd spent all summer together and Blaine _had _seen him shirtless. Blaine's lips and hands ran over Kurt's chest and abs. Kurt was beginning to feel more uncomfortable and now he was starting to think that it wasn't because of the alcohol.

"What are you doing?" Kurt gasped as his boyfriend's fingers fell to the button of his jeans. Shirtless, Kurt could handle. But anything else… well, he wasn't sure he was ready for that just yet.

"C'mon, Kurtie," Blaine said, his words slurring a bit. He'd had more to drink than Kurt had and the countertenor couldn't help but wonder if that was impairing his judgment a bit. "Let's…" he trailed off, his drunken mind unable to figure out the words he needed to say.

But they didn't _need _to be said out loud.

Kurt knew _exactly _what Blaine wanted.

And it was something _he _didn't want.

Well, that last statement was probably a lie, because Kurt _did _want that. He loved Blaine more than he thought he was ever capable of loving another person and wanted to share _every _first with him, but it just didn't feel like the right time for… that.

"Blaine… no," Kurt said forcefully, his mind clearing.

"But… I love you, Kurtie." Clearly, Blaine's mind was as clouded as ever.

"I love you, too, baby. But I just… can't."

"Why not?" _Oh, great_, Kurt thought. _Now he's pouting._

"Because… is this really where you want… _that _to happen?" He gestured the best he could to the car around them. Blaine stared at him blankly and Kurt was sure that none of his words were getting through his boyfriend's drunken head. But he still needed to at least try. "Listen, Blaine. I love you and want to be with you forever," Blaine smiled, his grin wide and sloppy and completely adorable, "but I don't want my first time to be in the back of a car when we're drunk." Okay, well, technically, Kurt was only buzzed, but that was beside the point. "I want it to be romantic… not something I'll regret."

"You say you're gonna regret havin' sex with me?" Blaine demanded, sitting up fast, legs still on either side of Kurt. His head hit the ceiling of the car, but he didn't seem to notice. He glared down at Kurt, an emotion Kurt had never seen in his eyes. He looked… well, he looked angry, if Kurt was being honest.

"No!" Kurt burst out, trying to sit up, only resulting in hitting his own head as well. But unlike Blaine, he actually felt it and _goddammit _it hurt. "That's not what I'm saying at all!"

"Then what are you saying?"

"That I feel like this is happening way too fast and I'm starting to feel uncomfortable."

"Oh, so now I make you uncomfortable?"

"Stop twisting my words around!" Kurt was getting angry now and he'd never gotten angry at Blaine before. Sure, they'd had cutesy little play fights, but never anything like this. For the first time, Kurt could honestly say he felt something that felt a little like hate towards his boyfriend.

"Why are you yelling at me?" Blaine was switching between emotions so fast that Kurt felt like he was getting whiplash.

"Because you don't seem to understand what I'm saying to you." Blaine stared at him blankly, his eyes drunkenly glazed over. "I love you, Blaine. But all of… this is just too much." Still, Blaine just stared. "For now, at least," he added, trying to diffuse the situation.

Blaine climbed off of Kurt and sat as far away from him as the small car would allow. "Fine. Well, two can play that game." Wait, what game was Kurt playing? But before a protest could form on his lips, Blaine was out of the car, staggering towards some unknown destination.

"Good God," Kurt muttered, hauling himself out of the car. Not only was this _Blaine's car_, but Kurt needed to find him before he did serious damage to himself… or someone else. He wandered around the dark parking lot, wondering for the millionth time whose idea it had been to sneak into the bar in the first place. "Blaine!" he yelled, spotting his boyfriend sitting on the curb not far from the entrance of the bar. He hurried over to him, ignoring the weird looks people were giving him. "Blaine," he said again, softer this time, when Blaine said nothing.

"Go away, Kurt," he said, turning away from the hand that Kurt had stretched out to touch his shoulder.

"Come on. Don't do this," Kurt pleaded. When Blaine said nothing, Kurt sighed and pulled out his cell phone. Who could he call to pick them up that wouldn't hold it over their heads forever? Pretty much everyone in his contact list either had hidden agendas or would have a laugh at their expense for… oh, the next thirty years or so. Then he came across the one name he would never have thought of trusting his life to.

"Hullo?" the voice – still half-asleep – answered.

"Finn? Yeah, it's Kurt. Listen, I need a huge favor from you…"

* * *

><p>"You owe me so much for this," Finn grunted, carrying the now sleeping Blaine into the house.<p>

"Yeah, yeah. I know," Kurt replied. "Just please don't tell my dad, okay?"

"Don't tell your dad that you and your boyfriend snuck into a gay bar and I had to drive your drunk asses home? Yeah, not on my list of priorities there, buddy."

"Thank you," Kurt said gratefully.

"Where do you want him?" Finn asked, hefting Blaine higher on his shoulder. "It's just that he's really heavy and…"

"Just put him on the couch," Kurt cut him off.

"Are you sure? I can bring him up to your room – I swear I won't tell Burt."

"No… we're kinda uh… fighting."

"About?"

"Trust me – you don't want the graphic details."

Finn, in a rare moment of intelligence, didn't press the matter. Instead, he (at Kurt's instruction) gently laid Blaine on the couch and Kurt covered him in an old afghan of his mom's. He wanted to kiss his forehead, but knew that Blaine was probably still sort of pissed, so Kurt just brushed a loose curl from his face and went upstairs to bed.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Kurt was awoken by screams coming from downstairs. Ignoring his pounding headache (he was never drinking again), he ran down the stairs to see what was going on. What he found was actually slightly hilarious and he would have laughed if there weren't tiny hammers beating against his brain.<p>

Finn was just jumping off the couch, with Blaine just sitting up, rubbing his temples and glaring narrowed-eyed at Finn. Now, Kurt was no Einstein, but he was smart enough to figure out that Finn's tiny attention span had made him forget that he had put Blaine on the couch last night and had ended up sitting on him, hence the screaming (Kurt wasn't sure if it had come from Finn or Blaine).

"What's going on down here?" he demanded, if only to make his presence known.

"Oh, hi, Kurt!" Finn said, way too chipper for Kurt's hung over mind. "So um… yeah. I kinda forgot that Blaine crashed here last night and I kinda sat on him. Sorry, man," he said to Blaine, who waved him off, looking very much like he wanted nothing more than to crawl in the fetal position and die.

"Finn, please do not sit on my boyfriend," Kurt said before he remembered that Blaine might not be his boyfriend anymore.

Blaine glanced at him and Finn seemed to catch on the fact that they wanted to be alone so they could talk. "So um… yeah, I'm just gonna go… call Rachel or… something," he stammered before bolting out of the living room.

Kurt sat down in his dad's chair so he wasn't tempted to sit close to Blaine. "So…" he hedged.

"So…" Blaine replied.

"About last night… what do you remember?" he asked.

"A lot, actually." Kurt's heart sank. He'd kind of been betting on the fact that Blaine was drunk out of his mind and therefore would remember nothing of the previous night.

"What does a lot mean?"

"It means I remember that you said you didn't want to sleep with me," Blaine said but Kurt noted that there wasn't any venom in his voice at all. That was a good sign, right? "I also remember…" he trailed off, blushing, which was rare for Blaine, the man of many words (not always the _right _words, per se, but he was never at a loss).

"Remember what?" Kurt asked, wondering if he wanted to hear the answer.

"I remember… _wanting _you. And I remember how awful I felt when you said you didn't want me the same way."

"Is that what you thought?" Kurt asked softly, moving from his dad's chair to the couch. "Because that's not true."

"It – it's not?" Blaine stammered, seeming shocked that his boyfriend actually wanted him.

"Absolutely not. The way we were last night… it was so… perfect and if we hadn't been drunk or in a car, then I wouldn't have stopped you." Now it was Kurt's turn to blush. Even though he'd had a boyfriend for almost eight months, the topic of sex still made Kurt a tad uncomfortable.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," Kurt laughed at Blaine's adorable puppy-dog eagerness. Then he took a deep breath and decided to just say what was on his mind. This was _Blaine_, after all, the one person Kurt could share anything with. "Last night… the things you were doing with your – your mouth…" His hand absent-mindedly moved to his collarbone, where a very dark hickey (Kurt's first hickey, actually) was starting to bloom. Good thing he had an affinity for wearing scarves no matter the weather. "It was just… wow."

"I don't even know what to say," Blaine said, looking down at his lap, his fingers still working at his temples.

"Blaine, look at me." He did so. "When I had that talk with my dad – which you still aren't off the hook for, by the way – he told me something that I haven't been able to get out of my head since last night."

"And what's that?"

"He said – and I quote – 'Kurt, when you're ready, I want you to be able to do everything. But when you're ready, I want you to use it as a way to connect to another person'." Kurt took Blaine's hands away from his head and held them between his own. He stared directly into his boyfriend's eyes, never having more sure of anything than what he was about to say. "And I – I'm ready, Blaine."

Blaine looked at him intently, brow furrowed. "Are you sure about this? I mean, it's not just because of last night? Because I can wait if you really need me to. I love you and I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you or anything…"

"You aren't pressuring me. "Well, last night you kinda were, but I'm just chalking that up to the fact that you were so drunk it's not even funny. But it actually got me thinking about the whole thing and I want this, Blaine. I want _you_. All of you." He paused, gauging Blaine's reaction. When he didn't run away screaming, Kurt continued. "My dad said to use sex as a way to connect to another person and… and the only person I ever want to connect to _that way _is you."

Blaine was staring at him blankly, then finally he said, "Wow. That's a… lot to take in. Do you… do you think we can talk about it more when I don't feel like I'm going to puke my guts out. That would kinda kill the mood, don't you think?" He smiled and Kurt knew that they were back to normal, that they were going to be completely fine.

"Sure, baby. Whatever you want," Kurt laughed, pulling Blaine gingerly to his feet. "Now, come on. Let's go get you all sobered up. I happen to have the best hang over cure in all of Lima." Blaine glanced at him quizzically. "When you're friends with Noah Puckerman, you tend to learn a thing or two."

"Ah," Blaine said as he allowed Kurt to drag him into the kitchen.

As Kurt watched his boyfriend drink his "special" hang over cure (it was really just a Bloody Mary, but Kurt didn't exactly want to tell Blaine that he was giving him more alcohol) he knew that they were going to have a long, somewhat embarrassing conversation later on. But Kurt wasn't all that bothered by it anymore, because what he'd told Blaine was absolutely true.

He was ready.

**Last night's promo…. Like, OH MY FUCKING WIZARD GOD (excuse the language) KLAINE KISS! It was just on the cheek, but KLAINE KISS! I can't believe they've only kissed once. Maybe I should stop writing all those Missed Opportunities I've been writing and live in the real Glee world…. Nah, that's not gonna happen!**

**KLAINE KISS! Sorry, still excited!**

**Only 6 days, 9 hours, and 38 minutes EST until "The First Time", which will probably be the best episode of Glee in the history of Glee (yes, it will top "Original Song")**

**Anyway…**

**Review!**


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